


Reunion

by missema



Series: Allyse Shepard, Space Cadet [11]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Love, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-27
Updated: 2012-03-27
Packaged: 2017-11-02 14:43:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/370141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missema/pseuds/missema
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Kaidan is critically injured on Mars, both he and Allyse Shepard make an effort towards fixing their relationship.</p><p>Set in the first part of ME3, after the mission to the Mars Archives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reunion

It wasn't what Allyse had hoped for in a reunion.  On Mars, Kaidan's distrust had been evident, but she could see how torn he was, how he wanted to believe her.  There was too much going on - she'd intended to explain, to talk to him, to make him see reason once they'd gotten off Mars and to the Citadel.

There was only Kaidan - always.  No one else, not ever, not even after Horizon.  She'd wanted to tell him, let him know that even Cerberus couldn't change that about her.

Why had those words been so hard to voice at the Archives?

After speaking with Admiral Hackett, Allyse sat in the medbay the whole trip to the Citadel.  She couldn't help but touch him, gentle fingers clasped around his as she fretted.  Grimacing, she looked over his bruised face, wishing that there was something more she could do, anything would be more useful than just worrying.  Though laborious, the sound of his breathing meant he was still here, and she sat silently at his side, mentally willing Joker to get to the Citadel faster.

She couldn't lose him, not when they had so much to say.

There were times where Kaidan wasn't sure if he was dreaming or hallucinating while he was in the hospital.  He lapsed in and out of consciousness without trying to sleep or knowing when he would drop off.  Things were hazy, and time became an unknown quantity.  Everything flashed in front of him, the faces of his family, Earth, regrets and a few thoughts of the past, hopes for the future, but mostly, there was Allyse.

Her last words to him on the original Normandy were: "Kaidan.  Go.  Now."  She ordered him away from her, to save her crew while she went to get Joker.

And he heard them again, but inverted.  "Kaidan, don't go.  Stay.  Fight.  And that's an order."  He didn't know whether she'd really said those things or not, but he could hear them in her voice, see her soft lips forming the words.

Those lips, her mouth, the wide smile that used to come so easily, the bobbed haircut with the short fringe that framed her large, grey eyes so well, all the things he thought of when he saw her face in his mind were always present in his dream state.  Allyse, at the forefront of his thoughts again, as she had been since they'd met three years before.  He loved her still, a fierce, deep bond that stretched out within him, tying him to her, despite her death and all that stood between them.

When he got well enough, she wasn't at the Citadel anymore, but he could just look on the extranet if he wanted to know what she was up to. His biotics were under strict orders to be kept offline, and moving hurt his injured shoulders anyway, so he occupied his time using his omnitool, upgrading it and watching the news.  There were constant reports of her, what she was doing, how it would stop the Reapers that were currently ravaging Earth, Palaven.  Diana Allers from Battlespace was stationed on the Normandy, and just looking at the walls behind her, knowing that Shepard was nearby was a comfort as he stayed trapped in his hospital bed.  He watched vid after vid of Allyse, even a recent one of her comforting that obnoxious reporter, Khalisah al-Jilani, and it made him remember just why he liked her so much, why he couldn't just push his feelings for her aside.  She'd taken the time to calm down a woman she didn't even like, reassuring everyone that help was coming to Earth.

Councilor Udina presented his offer to become a Spectre to Kaidan, and his first thought was to run it by Shepard, to see what she thought.  There was no way to tell when she'd bring the Normandy back to the Citadel, so he sent her a message, hoping that she'd get it and come back to talk with him, give him the counsel he wanted, and just talk to him, just be with him, which was what he needed.

It took a while, and she never answered his mail.  He wondered if it was just something she did, reading her mail and never really answering it.  Maybe that's why Hackett had kept a comm link to her on the first Normandy - if he'd sent email, there was a good chance she'd never send him a confirmation.  It would explain why she hadn't replied to him after Horizon, but he had been sure that part of the reason was because of Cerberus watching her messages.  Kaidan was convinced his theory was true when Shepard just showed up one day, walking through the door just in time to put an end to another visit from Udina.

"Shepard."  Udina was cool on his way out.

"Udina."  Allyse had never been able to contain her disdain for the man, especially not after he locked out Normandy's systems just before Ilos.

It was curious to him how detached Udina was toward Shepard after just lauding her accomplishments as a Spectre.  It seemed like he didn't want Allyse to know how highly she was regarded, or maybe despite everything she'd done, he returned her dislike.  Though she hadn't picked him to become humanity's first councilor, he'd wound up with the spot when Anderson resigned and it just didn't make sense for him to still harbor a grudge over that.  But truly, nothing about the ornery, lifelong politician made sense to him.  Whatever it was, it struck Kaidan as wrong, a false, duplicitous note and stayed with him, adding another speck of distrust to the overwhelming pile he already had towards the Councilor.

"So, are we good, Shepard?"  It wasn't precisely what had been on his mind when he thought of talking, of trying to explain, but when confronted with her, he didn't know where to start or even _how_ to talk to her anymore.

He was nervous, unsure, and even sweating a little, but he could always blame that on the medicine if she noticed.  Kaidan wanted to reach out to her, hold her hand in his, get a kiss goodbye before she left and a promise to come back soon, but after Mars, he didn't know where to begin.  Always cautious, he started at the bottom, and made his apologies, making sure everything was alright between them first.

"Yeah, Kaidan, we're good."  Allyse smiled at him.  She'd realized what he was doing and nearly laughed, it was so like him that she should have predicted it.  A new start, getting the old out of the way, for her a chance to forgive his suspicion, and for him, restoring his trust.

It wasn't a perfect reunion, but far, far better than the one on Mars.


End file.
